A Season of Firsts part II: Final Bout of Hesitancy

Leaving home ain’t easy, Queen knew it all too well (Brian May to be precise).

Great song, and the message is true. By now some of you all ready know I’m departing my usual New Zealand soils and heading over seas in a trip much shorter than that taken by our colonialist ancestors. Six months in a leaky boat it is not, instead it will be our much taken for granted, 20 hours in an air-conditioned airplane.

While I’m very excited about my upcoming adventures, just this week I have been experiencing pangs of indecision and possible regret. This is probably to be expected with any large personal undertaking. When I pulled the trigger to head overseas on this working adventure, I most definitely my heart was only about 80% into the idea. But it had been sitting in my head for so long; festering, stewing – that eventually something had to be done. Once the trigger was pulled there was no turning back .Through the inevitable regrets and doubts I must trek, to blunder forward as confidently as I possibly can; meanwhile being shit scared about turning my back on a good job, the safety net of family and of familiarity.

As I move forward, not yet having left, I have to say that already positive things seem to be happening. I’ve gained a lot more momentum, something I’d been searching for for some time. Momentum is crucial to getting creative projects done and I guess the relief of not having to spend nights worrying about what I’ll do has freed me to up to be thinking more creatively. Working on this blog is one such example.

But then I think of how I no longer have an income. Of how I have to go back to working tough jobs for long hours, or maybe not working at all. I have no idea where I’m going to live, and I have no idea of the city I’m about to enter.

This all might be quite melodramatic overseas experiences to the UK have been done time and time again by New Zealanders. I guess that doesn’t make it any easier for this Kiwi however.

Here’s the final self portrait photograph (or selfie) taken by myself, before I departed Southern Hemisphere land (taking in Kuala Lumpur International Airport, exhausted and un-showered. More on Malaysia to come)

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Indecisive Travels

I’ve been writing blogs now for a few weeks, but have been storing them up, due (cough) indecision over what to do with. Out of necessity, I have to pull the trigger, so I’m going through with having not one, but an excessive TWO blogs. My main blog – http://www.shutuphamish.com – will remain and will be the hub for both my culture writing and travel writing (I will reblog from here to there, the culture writing won’t appear here). The reasons for this are that I somewhere deep down inside feel that I need a specific place for my travel writing, even more specific then a category page on shut up hamish. So here we are, Indecisive Travels is born, and it shall be for the next few months as well. I’ve got some good stuff building up on life in London, because man it’s full of some ups and…

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A Season Of Firsts: Losing My Overseas Virginity

I’m now in the middle of travelling to London, and am currently editing this blog from a train in Kuala Lumpur. I should be making the most of being in a foreign place but I wanted to post this while it’s still relevant to my current travels. There will be more travel posts to come, either here or on a new site that I will link up.

At 25, I’ve experienced a fair amount of life. I’ve done the preschool years, the wild innocence of my childhood. I’ve done the confusing and expectantly traumatic period of puberty and early teens. I’ve graduated high school, graduated University, had a few proper adult jobs and lived independently for some time.

I’ve achieved many things I’d dreamed of achieving but had not been so arrogant to have assumed them a certainty. Things such as learning an instrument, learning multiple instruments, playing concerts, touring, releasing CDs, having reunions, finishing dissertations, filming music videos and releasing mildly successful local music videos – successful enough in their political critique to gain the attention of the electoral commission. I’ve made friends, lost friends, gained friends again. Had girlfriends, lost girlfriends, become friends with them in time. I’ve had many great times with family and am lucky enough to still have most of my family alive and well. So I can already look back on my quarter century and feel gratitude, and satisfaction at how things have turned out.

But still, there are many firsts I am yet to experience. Over the next few weeks I will be ticking a great many of these firsts off my bucket list. It will be first time outside of Australasia, my first time on a long haul flight, my first time traveling internationally solo, and my first time crossing hemispheres. I’ve never been to Asia before, but I will achieve this with a day long stop over in Kuala Lumpur – hopefully enough to see the Batu Caves and perhaps some monkeys roaming free around them. I’ve never been the Middle East before, but a five hour stop over in Dubai will provide a brief experience of this. I’ve never had to sleep overnight on a plane, and never really crossed time barriers, so therefor I’ve never experienced jet leg. All of this is to come.

Travel is a relatively common thing for some families so this may not seem a big deal. But my family are not great travelers, my Mum, Grandma and Grandfather only got as far as Australia. My Dad’s made it to Asia and many Pacific Islands. Only an Uncle of mine had previously ventured off to do the living in England thing. So for me, it seems a massive deal, and I’m kind of surprised I’ve even gotten to this stage where I’m about to pull it off. The fact I’ve done so little like this in the past, except for moving from Dunedin to Auckland, makes it all the more thrilling and nerve wracking (although to be honest I’m relatively calm at the moment).

The experience of moving across to the United Kingdom and working there is in many ways part of the New Zealand cultural identity. We our a colony of the British Empire after all, with a great deal of us descended from British, Scottish and Irish immigrants, and the influence of England has of course spread into the many other cultures that now make up our multicultural Islands. We used to view the UK as home, as my Grandma was telling me just yesterday, as she reminisced about her childhood. In this way, I like to think that I am venturing back to our recent ancestral home, so good or bad, it will be incredibly valuable cultural education.

This is of course the biggest first, losing my living overseas virginity. I’m sure it’ll come with it’s own crazy highs and depressing lows, homesickness, work struggles and such – but it will surely give me an experience at following my own heart and taking some risks. Plus I’m also breaking my camping festival virginity – and this happens to be for Glastonbury 2015. So the hedonistic partying highlights are there already.

I will attempt with this blog to give you a rundown on how everything goes. You’ll soon here about how I go attempting to fly Jetstar, Royal Brunei and Emirates with stop-overs in Melbourne, Brunei, Kuala Lumpur and Dubai. Will I make the flights? Will my luggage come with me? You’ll soon here about Glastonbury and whether it lived up to the hype. Who were the best artists? Is it really the best festival on earth? Did my tent survive the rain and mud? I’ll also write on life in London, the steps I take to get set up and how a Kiwi with little world experience finds life in the big English metropolis.

I’m not entirely sure if I am following that most metaphorical of organs in my upper chest, or if I’m running to the other side of the world out of fear, of something like commitment for example. My heart most definitely lies with my family and friends in New Zealand and I will make as much effort to stay in contact with them as possible. Right now, having resign from my job and taking steps towards this most anticipated adventure, it feels good. Surely if something feels good, that’s a good indicator that you’re on the right track.

Peace out, more from me soon.

Oh and here’s a drawing of me by my good friend, the great Shanghai artist, Ultraman Zhong Wen Chen.

ultraman-drawing-2015 hamish